Finally took a look ...

Yesterday , after showering, I could avoid it no longer and had to acknowledge that the edges of the steri strips were lifting. They were no longer doing the job of providing support so, they had to be replaced. I was unprepared for my reaction to what was beneath.

It is virtually impossible to weep without screwing up your face and mouth. I had to cry quietly and as still as I could so as not to pull on the stitches. I will post the picture at the bottom of the post as soon as I'm able ( to bribe a child to do it ).

My Husband thought it was amazing. That in just over a week it had recovered and healed to this extent. My rational brain agreed but my emotional side just saw a mark which wasn't there before and which, well, I'd rather not !

The wound has not oozed but , particularly near my lip , is raised and red. This is normal. So why am I sad? I'm just going to ' go with it '. If I feel sad, that's up to me. Whatever I think or feel is normal. It has dawned on me that the confidence with which I have met people and ventured out was built on the wound being covered. I think it's going to take another kind of courage to actually expose myself ' in the raw '.

One note of caution. A good friend took me to our large M&S in the morning . It felt great to dress up and go out . A rummage through the dreg ends of the sale always lifts my spirits but.. After 3 hours out , I was exhausted. My lip was throbbing, the site of the stitch actually painful enough to make me reach for the paracetamol which I haven't needed for a week. I'm angry with myself and vow to take it easy today. From the outside it might seem to be over cautious but , well, it's my face and I'm the only one ( bar Dr H ) who can protect it.